Love Life

It's been awhile since I sat down to write, feeling good this morning although tight and with a wish for just a tad more time in the bed! cold and wintery out, but the silence of the snow is stunning. i guess that's why meditators seek it out. i have been enjoying our windchimes outside while it's been so snowy, as the sounds calm and sway me and they interplay with the silence and the wind. I began reading more this year as a passion, since it was something i used to do tons when i was younger and then got distracted, i'm back reading a couple books a week which i am very pleased about. my guru says it's most important to read spiritual texts, which i study in addition to other spiritual books and guilty pleasures of the murder mystery and vampire (since i have read the first 3 twilight, i feel obligated to read the last one. she's no anne rice that's for sure. reading ishmael again by daniel quinn and wasn't for some odd reason able to get thru it the first couple of times i started reading it, and since my husband thinks it's the greatest book, he always keeps a copy on hand to pass along to one of our friends and fellow light seekers. the book challenges everything our culture and society tells us. quinn refers to being lulled to sleep by mother culture" he refers to givers and takers, and the religious messages that the world was made for man! that we do whatever in the hell we damn well please and obviously with disastrous results. my teacher ramanand patel talks about us systematically destroying the earth about us. i try to do what i can in my own little world, but realize that i am only one person but i hope somehow i make a contribution in this capacity. also we have begun our yoga sutras study group and have had a lot of interest and attendance. i love being in a group of like minded folks studying what i think is the most important spiritual text considering it describes yoga as the subject in immense detail. we spent 2 hours talking about atha which has many meanings but is used as "NOW". i'm always up for a good philosophical discussion. i will be giving my yoga demonstration this weekend and am really getting nervous. it's the first actual planned one i've done. i have done a few impromtu ones but the planning and knowing makes me cringe. the body is different on all days, so it's been a challenge deciding what i want to do. my body has been opened up through yoga so unbelievably, sometimes i can't even believe the things my body can do. it is the greatest boon ever been bestowed upon me, and the shaktipat given to me by my guru and others. i know i am a adhi kari, one worthy of learning yoga. this gives me great refuge and hope. i am looking forward to teaching today even if it's cold, i love my students. teaching has made me an aware, more compassionate person. it has opened up my heart to empathize with others, i know why my life was so disgustingly hard and why things happened in the ways they did when i was younger. it was all cooking me down for teaching. so my ego could be stilled and isvara shining thru me. there has been no greater gift in my life. when i am teaching, all thought other than the task at hand is stilled, there are no thoughts about myself and what i want, only love, pure love. now, i am not like this all the time, but i sure hope to be able to carry over my practice and teaching into everything i do, say and touch. feels good to write. xo